Search for the Light

There was once a ray of light that shone into a crevice of earth where there had only ever been darkness.  Against all odds, this  beam of light landed on a tiny microorganism.   Nobody could predict how the specimen would react without any prior evolutionary adaptations to sunlight.   To my surprise,  the creature put on a top hat and began singing show tunes.



Pizza guy delivers something delicious

There was a pizza man who never once delivered a pizza after three years on the job.  Nobody could explain how he kept his job with all of the potential pizza consumers left incomplete.  It turned out that he would take the pizza pies directly to a hot pocket factory where they were stitched together and sold under the brand name Munchbumps.  The Munchbump conversions were so lucrative, that his boss promoted him to shift manager in charge of mergers and acquisitions.     He eventually sold the business and was promoted to customer.  That man’s name was Fredrick Boyardee.



Golfing with vermin

I noticed a bunch of otters that were floating down the river with a couple of golf balls.   They stole them from a french man who was playing golf.  His golf game really suffered after the theft as he had nothing but acorns to finish the round with.  They didn’t have the distance or the visibility of normal golf balls.  He theorized it was because of the dimples.  Acorns didn’t have them, but golf balls did.

Candlelight power.

Are candles outdated technology?  Why do we keep them in our lives?   We have night lights, pot lights, headlights, LEDs, fiber optic,  tungsten, and so on.   It can’t be for smell.  We now have devices that you plug into the wall that flatulate the tropics into your house.    We don’t even rate devices by the number of candles they replace.  It’s all about lumens.    So, where do candles fit into our new world?   Where do we fit in their world?   I’m not sure, but someone should shed light on the subject.